...I wish my brother would stop discussing his testicles at great length.

Information you need to know to understand this story: I RP Kunsel from Crisis Core. Kunsel is basically the game's tutorial, and as such has no face. He's always in his SOLDIER uniform+helmet. So when I picked him up, I had to find him a PB.

I chose Guy Cecil from Tales of the Abyss.

Here's baby:



...so, for April Fools I quietly replaced about a tenth of my Guy Cecil icons with another ToA character for the hell of it.

Say hi to Luke:



Now April Fools has come and gone, and I've yet to fix his icons. So... lazy... Next year I'll do something I can pull off in advance so I don't have to do everything the day of and the day after. xD

Google's joke was pretty loltastic as always. Gaia's was uninspiring. Neopets' was downright irritating. (Yes, I play there. STOP JUDGING ME WITH YOUR SILENCE.) Consumerist's was alright, I guess. Did anyone else run into a great April Fool's prank?

Anyway, Valhalla's first meme was a riot and I can't wait for the next one. x3; The game's coming along nicely. I gotta stop psyching myself out, though. Two hours on one log tag? *starts timing herself*

I also started playing Psychonauts. I'm barely into it and platformers really aren't my thing, so we'll see how this pans out. That's... about it for now, yeah.

Got my passport renewed, and the guy there was really nice. My photo turned out really good actually. And then we forgot to pay for it because the guy didn't ring us up, so we drove back to pay him. He was really grateful, and it felt nice to do. Honesty is severely underrated, I think. Of course, I also picked up sixty dollars off the floor at school and turned that in too. But I'm lucky in that I never really am desperately without money, you know? Nothing good comes of being greedy.

Look! Look! I updated two days in a row! I'm so proud of myself. *sniff*

チョーなまけものと思う。

Get used to it. :|;

...I'm sure you all already are.

Anyway, we played a really fun game in Japanese class today.

日本語の授業でとても面白いゲームを遊びました。

Yasuda-sensei split us up into guys and girls. She then titled the girls' group 「わがままなお姫様」 (selfish princesses) and the boys' group 「わがままな王子様」 (selfish princes).

Then we were told to make ten royal decrees each. After listening to us bicker for about ten minutes on both sides, she limited us to five. xD

So here's what the girls came up with.

足が痛いんだから、マッサージをしてくれない？
My leg hurts, so won't you massage it?

くろいんだから、月を取ってくれない？
It's dark, so won't you fetch me the moon?

このおしろは小さい過ぎるんだから、もっと大きいおしろを作ってくれない？
This castle is too small, so won't you build me a bigger one?

つまらないんだから、踊ってくれない？
I'm bored, so won't you dance for me?

女の友だちがいないんだから、女のふくを着てくれない？
I have no girlfriends, so won't you put on some womens' clothes?

I came up with the last two. :3b

At the end of class, Yasuda-sensei declared that we the girls were the most selfish. xD; The most the boys could come up with was stuff like 'make us a sandwich'. 'Kill Yasuda-sensei's favorite tennis player'. Losers. x3

Any grievous mistakes in Japanese are because I really suck at it. *hides from Loren* For those of you who have never studied Japanese, disregard what I just said. Of course my Japanese is immaculate and flawless.

Anyway, I'm really, really tired now. I just wanted to write this up before I forgot it. Yay leaky memory.

Nap time now. &hearts

Love you all.

...by the way. I really want to cosplay someone new for Acen. ; x ; Give us suggestions? Any kind at all, just throw them out there. Ideas first, practicality later. :3

Okay, well. The semester's over. I passed all my classes, and fell deeply, madly in love with my history professor's intellect. One of these days, I'm going to type up the letter he wrote us at the beginning of the semester. The class was insanely difficult and at times stressful, but I don't regret it. I want my next history class to be with him as well.

I'm updating, and it's Kathleen's fault for reminding me that I have this thing, and that I used to pretend to be myself online before I got so good at pretending to be other people.

I've been living with my family again lately, and, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. Actually, I don't really know how I feel about anything right now. But. I'm okay. It's okay. I've been getting along with my brother like I haven't before in my whole life, all twelve years he's been alive. It's weird. I realized that I love him. I've always felt strange when people talk about how much they love their siblings, but I've realized it's because I was never really allowed to talk to him and every time he tried to spend time with me, Dad would start yelling.

But I've been going to sleep on the top bunk of his bed every night, I've been making him breakfast in the morning, I've been here to welcome him home from school. It's great. It's really, really great.

We watched Newsies together the other day, goofed around singing all the songs. We sound alarmingly alike when we sing--we learned this when we recorded ourselves. He's playing FFIX, and tomorrow we're going to LARP it in the snow like the losers we are. (Ice Cavern, anyone?)

Anyway, living with my family comes with its fair share troubles, but... I'm doing good.

I'm excited to see Emily this weekend, either tomorrow or the day after. EM, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I AM SO GOING TO THE STORE FOR A GAME FOR US. ANY REQUESTS?

So, now that I've updated once, maybe I'll start doing it more often. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. I need to read up on you guys too. There are so many old friends I miss.

How've you all been?

So, school's started up again and because I have an amazing professor and because I'm going to start actually sleeping/eating things resembling regular meals/generally be greatly more coherent, I am going to start updating this piece of crap again! :D YAY.

I finally figured out my problem, by the by. I stopped checking my LJ because my friends page is so full of people I don't remember meeting/communities revolving around subjects I stopped caring about but can't bring myself to drop/clutter that I have no interest in that I've begun overlooking a lot of my good friends. That simply won't do.

So here is my MUCH OVERDUE spring cleaning!

IMPORTANT: If you're someone who desperately wants to stay in contact with me/someone I met recently who added me but I forgot to add you, please comment, okay? Otherwise I am just deleting everyone and starting over! Because I've decided I don't need a shiny f-list full of people.

I just need you peeps I love. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

; ~ ; I don't call on you guys very often, friends list of mine. But.

Are any of you willing to RP as/know someone who would be willing to RP as Kururugi Suzaku from Code Geass?

; ~ ; Because. I am sorely in need of one at Conscripted. And Jardin du Ciel is also in need of one. (I'm not a part of that yet, but. Am apping.)

I play Euphemia at Conscripted and. Having Suzaku would be awesome.

So... ; ~ ; Get back to me, you guys. I know I have some great RPers on my friends list. So. Save me~~~

So I wrote this fic for Loren for Komui's birthday, and she talked me into posting it for the public eye. ^^; So... Here it is.

Candice, we can't be friends.

Obito > You

x infinity.

The end.

Acen was one, long train wreck.

An enjoyable train wreck in the end, but a train wreck nonetheless.

I've ranted about before-con experiences with the staff enough, so let's get on to the actual con report.

God, I hope I remember everything. I've procrastinated about this thing like crazy.

( Thursday )

( Friday )

( Saturday )

( Sunday )

( Monday )

Thanks everyone who commented in my last entry. I would have replied to all of you, but I was busily seething away.

I would like to take a moment now to commend the utter apathy of Acen panel staff, who are instead of addressing our dismay and concerns, are telling us all to STFU and move concerns to a quieter, more discrete PM or e-mail so that the other attendees don't catch on to anything being wrong. And thanks, Lynn, for comparing blatant racism to panels on hentai, yaoi, yuri, and the intelligent discussion of incest in anime.

Naturally, by being against discriminating, objectifying, and generalizing an entire broad ethnicity of people, we are stomping on freedom of expression and speech.

Thanks a lot, Acen staff. I now love you just that much more.

I feel better now regardless, but the epic battle between people for and against the panel is still quietly raging on the Acen forums. xD; I'll quote my favorite guy:

Second, my 2 cents on the whole "How to Date an Asian Guy/Girl" debate. IMO, it does seem a little racist. If it was a more general, "Understanding Asian Cultural Norms/Trends, Social Practices, and Dating Rituals," panel that might have been a little more PC, and less offensive. More than this though its just so d*mn weeaboo. Yes, I know this is ACen, a weeaboo fevering ground, but still, good lord. I'm sure Asian women (and men) aren't too happy when they have some pimply faced 17 yr old guy in a Naruto headband come up to them at school and say, "Hey, I saw you were Japanese, you must like anime right! I wish I was Asian, you guys understand anime and stuff. Want to go out some time? We can watch Inuyasha together and get some sushi," when in actuality the girl was born in the US, doesn't speak any foreign language but a few simple phrases in Japanese, hates seafood in general, and hasn't seen any anime, except Cowboy Bebop a few times when it was on AS, which she didn't even like.

Now, I'm sure the panel will try and push away from racist stereotypes (at least I hope to God it does), but still: the whole thing seems racist and incredibly weeaboo to me. IDK, I almost want to go just to see what happens. Will there be an angry mob of Asian con-goers protesting outside it, how weeaboo will the attendees be, will the panel be littered with racist overload, will Anon get wind of this and form an epic /b/lockade? Who can say? All seem reasonable.

So I feel better now. I have entered a very zen state of mind. We leave for the con in two days. I'm already packing. (GASP O_O It's not Thursday before the con and I'm packing!)

See you all there. I love you guys dearly.

Also, here's something I did whilst bored out of my mind, waiting for stuff to arrive so that I can get back to working on finishing up costumes/wigs/etc.

( DGM Questionnaire, mugged from Loren. )

In many, many more ways than one. I won't even go into how badly they screwed us.

I just wanted to highlight the grain of rice that tipped the scales for me.

Acen is running this panel on Sunday: "How to pick up an Asian girl or guy"

Whoever is heading that panel needs to get kicked in the balls repeatedly.

I am NOT a fucking commodity.

And it's not even like me and my brethren need our own pick up lines or moves or whatever.

Bring a violin! Ask us math questions! Pretend you were part of the debate team!

SHOOT YOURSELVES.

I'm just as fucking American as the rest of you, and the fastest way to get me to decide I never want to see you again is to be interested in me because of the color of my skin and the slant of my fucking eyes.

Just die.

I'm not having a good day.

NOTE TO ACEN STAFF: If a panelist thinks to herself that she would seriously hang herself in the event that she could have your convention held liable, because it would be worth it, SOMETHING IS WRONG.

I hate this fucking con.

If I never go back, it'll be too soon.

Also. STAFF? IT'S ME AGAIN. YEAH. HAVE SOME FUCKING BALLS AND STOP BLAMING ERIC FOR EVERYTHING. I understand that he's not perfect and he made a slew of mistakes, but stop blaming all of YOUR screw ups on him too.

You guys messed up. Admit it. You guys remind me of big government way more than I'm comfortable with.

So, con crunch time is here. Time to make lists of things that need to get done.

I'm posting here to help me keep track.

Countdown of days until Laci gets here: 3 (sjkfnsklhfksdljfhisdlhgilashfnkjsdf HOLY SHIT)

Countdown of days until we leave for Acen: 9 (T_T oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god)

Countdown of days until I meet Loren and do unmentionable things to her: 9 >.> <.< .........>3

Do we have a schedule yet? No. I am going to call this 'pulling an Ohayocon' from now on.

Acen is pulling an Ohayocon on panelists.

Anyway, lists of stuff that has to get done, in no particular order:

Edit skit audio together -- currently working on
Practice Idol songs
Finish panel
Mod costumes
Line coat :< Not happening for this con. Oh wel.
Buy buckets
Thrift store shopping
Find out Josh's dress size Done.
Finish styling wig
Buy cane for Tousen
Get hair trimmed
Find costumes and pack
Buy makeup

x_x I don't know why I always let it come down to the wire.

I don't know why, but I suddenly remembered Amanda today. Maybe because winter is giving way to spring, maybe because the weather is growing warm and soon there will be things like mosquitoes and raspberries and sunshine.

I thought I'd tell you all a story about her. I was not sure whether to use present tense or past tense, because of the nature of the story. I use past tense because it comes more naturally to me, because these events, to me, all unfolded a very long time ago. But please don't take that to mean that Amanda is no longer any of the things I say. Amanda was and always will be a very important person in my life. Nothing will ever change that.

( If you ever wanted to know a little more about me, go ahead and read this. Try to have tissues handy, though. I made myself cry at least two or three times. But maybe that's just because they're my memories. )

I will be singing this year at Acen Idol. o_o I made the top 18 cut out of 30. This comes as a total, complete surprise.

If you're going to be at Acen, please come cheer me on~! :D Further info is here:

Acen Idol 2008 -- the preforming 18

And, um. x3; For anyone who cares to hear me sing, I made a quick recording of me singing Lao Shu Ai Da Mi. :3 It means "Mouse Loves Big Rice" and it's just... a slightly melancholy, straightforward, cute sort of love song. I've translated the whole song if anyone wants to see that, but.

Anyway.

I really love singing in my native language, more than anything else. ^_^ So here it is. Please tell me what you think if you give it a listen~!

Here it is~!

x3 This is just a picture of me'n Lyndsay, being sexy.

We got some new clothes and wanted to pose in them.

( Here it is, in case anyone's wondering what I look like these days~ )

I swear I only think this is a good idea because it's 4:00 A.M. BUT. Here's a translation of Nicholas Tse's Xie Xie Ni De Ai. Because I love this song. :< And a slightly iffy translation is better than none that all.

( Thank You for Your Love )

So. I was having this craptacular day. My academic probation adviser is probably the most useless person I've ever met. She's mean, she probably can't tell me apart from any of the other kids she sees, she told me I was in violation of a contract she never gave me. I hate her. I hate her so much. She's the difference between an adviser who is trying to help you and an adviser who is trying to do the bare minimum of her job. She has never offered me any helpful information in any way and is dismissive of my problems at best. She just doesn't give a flying fuck, and I hate her.

But anyway, I was pissed about this. She condescendingly told me if I didn't get these evaluation sheets filled out with my professors, she wouldn't release the hold on my registration for next semester until August. You know. When all the good classes are full and I'm stuck with shitty classes with shitty professors so that I flounder and eventually drop out of college and flip burgers until I take my own life at thirty after eleven embittered years of watching all the best years of my life pass me by as a sack of human waste that's not worth the resources I take in.

Oh, and she wants all the work that's ever been assigned to me this entire semester organized and brought in to show her. Like signed evaluation sheets isn't enough to convince her that I'm not freaking pissing away my GPA in the wind anymore.

Thanks, adviser-lady-from-hell. Thanks a lot.

So I'm working on that.

Anyway, thoroughly stressed and upset by this and the fact that I wish I had an adviser who freaking cared about the students she's supposed to help (Why would you even GO INTO that field of work if you don't give a shit? Why?) I go into my Japanese class.

Midway through class, I'm feeling better. Japanese class always makes me feel better. I'm absorbing the material I like it.

And then?

Then my teacher asks the class if they know 'ガクト'.

So. My eyes light up.

I thought I was over him, grown past him.

I was wrong.

She pops this into her DVD player and shows the class because, well. I don't know. All she said was that she showed the morning class and she thought he looked very good in his getup. (But she doesn't like Gackt, she says. xD; Too narcissistic for her.)

And by the time I was done watching, I was happy again. Really, really happy. I mean. Only Gackt freaking... comes up with crap like this. xD; I love it. A rock concert in feudal Japan. From a general to his army. There are just no words to describe it.

If you haven't seen it, WATCH IT NOW. x3333

I think I'm going to cosplay Unohana-taichou instead of Hitsugaya for Acen. What do you guys think? It'd save me from the wig crisis and, well, c'mon.

Who can say no to a giant freaking manta ray?

...yeah, as if. xD;

Because Loren's in class and I have a writing itch. BTW, yeah. I decided it's much more fun to just write this as Sokaro. xD; The team is Sokaro-Cloud-Cross with Theodore-sensei. Only, y'know. xD; They all get different names for the sake of my sanity.

Key:
Sokaro: Fujiwara Fuyuichi
Cloud: Ichinoku Haruna
Cross: Yuu Tetsuya

And Theodore? I'll get to him when I feel like writing about him. xD;;;;



^--current writing prompt.

( Continuation of Those Without Remorse: Revenge is Sweeter (Than Regret) )

My brain enjoys twisted crossovers.

Last night, in passing, I mentioned to Emily that if I ever made a ninja again, he'd have Sokaro's face.

Since I'm likely never going to make a ninja again, have a short ninja!Sokaro ficlet.

Please note: It's not actually Sokaro. It just looks like Sokaro.

...of course, Sokaro's face only lends to so many personalities. 8D;



Theeeere's baby. x3; Okay. Here we go. I'm rather happy with it, so. (Happier with it than any of the stuff I actually ever wrote for Spiral, actually. oO;;) If any of you are bored, let me know what you think.

( Those Without Remorse // Warning: Creepiness within. )